Willy's Bar & Grill: Heard the Latest?
by Philip S
Summary: Episode 1: Sunnydale's vampires learn that a new Slayer is in town and might interfere with the Harvest. The much more important questions are, of course, why is Luke so dense and why is the barkeeper spending so much time in the john?


Willy's Bar & Grill: Heard the Latest? by Philip S.  
  
Summary: Sunnydale's vampires learn there is a new Slayer in town. Spoilers: Welcome to Hellmouth Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: The characters appearing herein are (mostly) original creations, but everything is based on Joss Whedon's work. Characters from BtVS are mentioned and may appear now and then.  
  
#  
  
Harvey was busy carefully inspecting his third bottle of beer of the night when he heard the door fly open. Harvey always sat with his back to the door, which had something to do with a certain philosophy he had developed when it came to living in Sunnydale. Living in the abstract sense, of course, seeing as he was quite dead.  
  
The philosophy went like this: If you do not look at it too closely it is unlikely to concern you much. Granted, it was not exactly a philosophy worthy of being written down and discussed by students for the next few centuries, but it was one he could live with just fine. Again, living in the abstract sense.  
  
"You guys are not gonna believe this," someone yelled, probably the same someone who had thrown open the door. Harvey recognized the voice after a moment's consideration and decided to turn around and look, at least for a short while.  
  
Willy's Bar & Grill was not too packed this early in the night. Most of its customers either came late in the afternoon to throw back a few before sundown or very late in the night to throw back a few before dawn. Only a bunch of regulars were there, Harvey among them. He hung out at Willy's most nights and saw nothing wrong with that. The beer was decent. He seldom drank the tapped blood, though. Tasted kind of stale most of the time.  
  
Daniel, the noisy door opener, looked around the room to see who might be interested in the absolutely sensational news he had. Harvey was looking at him, which was a good sign. Harvey was a hard guy to get interested in anything except beer and blood. As a result Daniel immediately headed toward him, certain that the few other guys around at the moment would listen in on their conversation.  
  
"What's up, Daniel?" Harvey asked, sounding a bit bored. That was okay, though. He always sounded a bit bored.  
  
Daniel Fleetfoot was a cheery fellow as far as vampires went. A native American, or so he said, Daniel prided himself on being the guy in the know about pretty much everything that went on around the Hellmouth. Meaning he was a hopeless tattletale and could not keep his mouth shut. As a result no one trusted him with the really big stuff. He had a habit of popping up everywhere something went on, though, so he usually did know quite a bit.  
  
Willy, the owner of Willy's Bar & Grill and the guy who was really in the know about pretty much everything that went on around the Hellmouth, often made a point of correcting the various rumours Daniel so happily spouted once the vampire had left the premises. Willy was on vacation, though.  
  
"You heard that the Master was awake again, right?" Daniel asked, excited.  
  
"Sure." Harvey took another sip from his beer. "Everyone knows. Rose from a pool of blood and all. Still stuck down there, though. No chip off my fangs."  
  
"Yeah, well, he sent out Darla and Luke last night to get himself some game."  
  
Harvey managed to stifle a groan. There were a lot of reasons he tried to stay out of everything and the two aforementioned vampires were a big part of it. Okay, Darla had been a really classy chick once, or so the rumours went. Stayed only in the best accommodations, fed only from the high society, stuff like that. These days, though, she lived in the sewers and feasted on school kids. Where was the class in that? Not that Harvey considered himself a particularly classy fellow, but going from High Society to Sunnydale High was quite a drop.  
  
Luke was worse. Harvey had met the fellow a few times and considered him, in order, dumb as a post, dense as a rock, and strong enough to break him in half if he ever said that out loud in his general vicinity. Luke was the kind of vampire that should never have escaped the Hollywood B-movies. He quoted lines from vampire prophecies and considered the human race a plague or something. Said 'Amen' a lot, too.  
  
Not a guy who ever got invited to parties.  
  
"So what?" Harvey asked, not really considering news about Luke and Darla a good thing. "They got some school kids and fed them to the Master. Big deal."  
  
"Yeah? Well, listen to this. Someone got in their way. Someone young, female, and strong enough to dust Thomas."  
  
"Thomas?"  
  
"Darla's latest flunky. Black hair? Carbon-dated clothes?"  
  
Harvey dimly remembered him. Maybe. Darla went through flunkies pretty quickly and most of them were dark-haired. Something to do with a former honey of hers, or so the rumour went. He then noticed that Daniel was looking at him expectedly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Didn't you listen, man? Someone young, female, and way strong dusted a vampire. I also heard Luke tried to clobber her, but she got away from him."  
  
Harvey snorted. Even stray dogs usually managed to elude Luke quite nicely unless they had a very bad day. Did the guy even hunt humans himself anymore or did he consider himself too good for that?  
  
"So some amateur demon hunter got lucky," he shrugged. "Big deal."  
  
"Amateur demon hunter? Since when are demon hunters young females? I tell you what I think, man! I think we got a Slayer on our hands."  
  
Harvey considered that for a moment as he took another sip from his beer. It was almost empty and the bartender was nowhere in sight, having gone to the john some time earlier. A Slayer? Well, it was a possibility. Harvey had never met a Slayer in person before, but he had heard enough about them to consider them part of his 'don't-get-involved' philosophy.  
  
"Maybe she'll dust Luke," Harvey grumbled. "Would make the world a better place."  
  
"Dude, you really think we got a Slayer?" To Daniel's delight one of the other patrons had finally come along, having overheard their conversation. "That is, like, major bad!"  
  
"Oh, really?" Harvey wondered when the barkeeper would be back.  
  
"Yeah, dude! She might slay us all if we're not careful. Maybe we should, you know, get together and ... kill her?"  
  
Harvey gave the younger vampire a look that clearly expressed his low opinion about this idea and of the intelligence of the person uttering it.  
  
"I heard Luke is really pissed," Daniel interjected, not happy that the focus of the conversation seemed to drift away from him. "He wants to kill her real bad."  
  
"Luke wants to kill everything real bad. That's just the way he is."  
  
Further conversation was interrupted by another loud opening of the door. Harvey refused to take interest in this event two times in a row and did not turn around. Judging by the widening eyes of the two vampires sitting across from him, though, it might actually be something interesting.  
  
"Brothers," a low voice growled, "your Master calls you to his side."  
  
"Oh, brother," Harvey groaned, but not too loudly.  
  
Luke stood in the open door, looking like he had dressed in the dark again. The bulky vampire surveyed the gathered demons, his amber eyes narrowed.  
  
"Tonight is the Harvest," he called out loudly. "It is the time when the blood of the humans will run like wine and we will show them once and for all that we are the lords of this world."  
  
Harvey finally turned around to look at Luke, sighing deeply as he did. This was not going to be pretty, he mused.  
  
"So ...," Daniel started, kinda taken aback by Luke's dramatic monologue. "What's going down, man?"  
  
Luke stared at him as if he was something really irritating and icky, which kind of made him a bit more charming to Harvey. Any guy who was irritated by Daniel Fleetfoot could not be a hundred percent dense, could he?  
  
"Tonight we will feast," Luke said after a long pause. "Every loyal vampire will be at the Bronze to witness the Harvest and partake in the slaughter."  
  
"Sounds fun," one vampire shrugged.  
  
"Be there," Luke bellowed, not sounding amused. "Be there or be sorry!"  
  
With that he stormed out the door again, slamming it shut behind him. The room was filled with silence for a minute or two, the only sound coming from Harvey's trying to suck out the final drops from a very empty beer bottle.  
  
"Is that dude for real?" the vampire from earlier asked him.  
  
"Unfortunately."  
  
"Guys, we should get going," Daniel said, jumping up from his seat.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why? Didn't you hear him? Things going down at the Bronze tonight. Slaughter and all that."  
  
"Daniel," Harvey said with an air of extreme boredom. "Remember what you told us about five minutes ago?"  
  
He looked confused for a minute.  
  
"The Slayer," Harvey reminded him.  
  
"Oh, yeah! What about her?"  
  
"If there is a slaughter at the Bronze, don't you think she'll be there?"  
  
Harvey had rather hoped that this little revelation would have a certain effect on Daniel, whom, despite him being an irritating bore, he did not really want to see dusted. Unfortunately the effect he did achieve was just the opposite of what he had intended.  
  
"You're right! This is great! We'll see the Slayer killed!"  
  
A moment later he was out the door, no doubt heading for the Bronze. The still nameless vampire who had gotten involved in their conversation looked at the door, then at Harvey.  
  
"You gonna join him, dude?"  
  
Harvey simply shook his head, not really feeling up to explaining his philosophy to the other demon. Whatever went down at the Bronze tonight, he was sure he would hear about it soon enough. Probably from Daniel, if the little gossip happened to survive. If not, well, Harvey had done what he could without violating his philosophy.  
  
"Man's gotta have a philosophy," he simply told his opposite. Since the barkeeper chose that moment to return from the john (what had he been doing at john for so long anyway?) Harvey considered the conversation closed and ordered another beer.  
  
THE END (FOR NOW) 


End file.
